The RV Stalks At Noon



Hey Gang!


I admit that I have an overactive imagination. I can’t help it. I have been creating these overt, elaborate plots of nothingness for no reason. For example, I once went for a walk on a trail in the back woods with some friends. Along the way, we found barrettes, a small pillow, and a blanket. As a precursor to my revelation, this is adjacent to a campground and fishing; well-travelled it is, as Yoda would say (did you read that in his voice? J). What then unraveled in my mind was that there was a serial killer on the loose in the woods, killing people while they sleep and burying them along the trail…and we were next! Completely true story! Not the murders, the imagination.

Another instance is that, on a date,   we sat and made up stories of all the people around us. We sat next to kings and queens, spies, and everything under the sun. It was a fun night and rare that you meet someone who shares that imagination with you. I understand that my imagination is ridiculous but it is fun and makes the mundane seem like a festival. However, it does get to me. I get uber-paranoid because I let my imagination run. For instance, I was driving through town and the car behind me mirrored every turn that I made. It was unnerving because I thought of every Creepypasta and episode of Alfred Hitchcock that was even remotely similar and it made me freak out. I started going faster, and they matched my speed, I slowed down thinking they would go around but nope, they stayed behind me. I finally whipped into my parking lot to see them speed past and into the distant night. I let out a long exhale and contemplated my sanity.

Fast forward to now. I come to work and every day there is an RV camped out in our lot. We share a rather large parking lot with a couple other corporate buildings. This isn’t your average RV; this is the watch-the-back-windows-for-someone-mouthing-“help” type of RV. It has not moved in 2 months and I have to say, it is a bit creepy but it is bringing out my inner sleuth. I have seen a balding man come out of it once and walk up to the building. The next time I saw him place something on the back bumper and then hop in a little S10 with filing cabinets in it and drive away. Below are the theories I have come up with:

  1. He works there and is having an unfortunate circumstance where he cannot afford a house
  2. He may be in the movement of not planting roots.
  3. He is a murderer that is on the move and needs to be mobile to finish his awful deeds
  4. He is using the RV as a kidnap shack in the open because he secretly wants to get caught
  5. It broke down after he was traveling the world, making it by ship from Russia and is too attached to just leave it
  6. He is a member of a secret society that only live in RVs used in ‘80s horror movies
  7. He is Illuminati….
  8. He may or may not be a vampire, which means I am living the real version of Fright Night
  9. He is a meth dealer who used to be a chemistry teacher and now has cancer but this is his way of paying for the bills and not leaving his family in debt (followed closely by his sidekick, Jessie).
  10. I need to get a life.

It’s definitely one of these!



IDQT’s Genesis


The other day I was talking to a friend about blogging on here and how much fun I have writing and reading blogs on here. He asked me what it was called and I told him “Introspections During Quiet Time” which he promptly followed up by saying “what the hell does that mean?”

Here is where it comes from:

I have never been a napper. Ever. As a child, I went to a babysitter where other children were being cared for as well and whenever it was “nap time” she put everyone in the “nap room”….except me. I would get bored while everyone was asleep and then I would get restless and then I would get annoyed until I finally started waking everyone up so we could play. This did not go over well because normal children enjoy nap time, so they would all be grumpy or cry as I would try to get them to play games. So, the babysitter devised a plan. She would have the kids lay down in their room while I would have to lay in the hallway where she could see me from the couch. I remember I would be about to get up and she would tell me to lay down and take a nap. Then i would say I have to get a drink of water or go potty but I would really play in the toilet water or take off my shoes and slide on the linoleum in my socks. She caught on quickly.

So, I would lay there. At first, I just cursed her in my head with all the bad thoughts a five-year-old could imagine: Stupid-head, dumb-dumb, etc. she was all of those. Then, after about a week, I started really imagining things. It is during these little half-hour spurts of quiet that I really thought. I remember that I came to the realization that I wanted to be a Velociraptor when I grew up. Then it was a paleontologist and then an astronomer. I would let my mind wander in any direction it wanted to. It was funny, (Spoiler Alert) this was the first time I reasoned my way to believing there was no Santa Claus. I remember I would go to my mom and say “Listen, you have to tell me if there is no Santa Claus because I don’t want to be Forty and wondering if Santa is going to bring my kids’ presents this year”.

This continued into kindergarten where I would lay on the city street mapped rug and just think as everyone else slumbered. I thought about if aliens existed and wondered if they were going to abduct me. I imagined they had suction cup fingers and antennae. It was so interesting to me that there was all kinds of things happening behind my forehead. I thought it was a super power! I really did. It translates even into today where sometimes I just have to zone out for a moment and take a little quiet time for myself.

So, that’s why it is called Introspection During Quiet Time. It’s all about being honest and frank. Mostly funny and sometimes serious but always true. True to the writing and true to myself. I let my mind go where it wants and hang on for the ride, I hope it makes you do the same. It’s much more exciting this way!


– Chris