So, I am feeling especially existential and introspective right now! I just watched “Seeking a friend at the end of the world” and it was a beautiful film. Really loved it but it got me to think about things. Supposedly the world is going to end 12/21/12, according to the Mayan calendar. Now, this is bogus because they didn’t take into account the leap year that Cesar implemented. So, this means that “2012” occurred in like 2003 I believe. Nonetheless, I let my mind wander. Below is a brief compilation of things that I would have wanted to either do or have done by the end. Not a bucket list as in the things I have always wanted to do but a list of things I feel I am in need of; a “lived list”. These are the things that I would have wanted to accomplish to say “Now I have lived”.
*This should be read while listening to “No Surprises” by Radiohead.*
- Told Amy I loved her and had since we were kids
- Read “The Divine Comedy”
- Have someone genuinely say “Thank You”. Not as an aside in passing but as a genuine, eye-connecting moment.
- Listened to Dark Side of The Moon sync’d to The Wizard of Oz
- Backpack through Europe without a dollar (or quid)
- Danced in the rain
- (Completely) Learned to play the bass guitar
- Buy my mom a house
- Push the gas pedal all the way to the floor
- Go to a wine tasting
- Sit on a beach and watch the sunset
- Speak French
- Go on a date with a woman from somewhere the complete opposite of my world. Ne’er a corn or soybean field in sight.
- Catch a picture of lightning striking
- See a tornado
- Give a dog a high-five
- Sold one of my paintings
- Tell Josh I’m sorry…(That’s a bucket list one)
- Drop a bouncy ball off the Eiffel Tower
- See an eclipse
- Listen to OK Computer under the stars on a warm night
- Proposed to a woman on stage at some huge gathering and her say YES of course. Although, it would be interesting for the NO response. Either way actually, it’s about the gesture I suppose.
- Catch a huge fish!
- See my brother go to college
- Be stranded on a deserted island (but only for a week)
- Be able to say “Enough. I am happy”
I think that’s an appropriate place to end. No skydiving or swimming with sharks. What would that do to my life? At the end, as some world ending event heads towards us will I say, “Thank God I jumped outta that plane! I lived!” Nope. These are simple things that would help me say, “If my life were a gas tank it would read FULL”. I look back at the list and smile, they are practical things, yet hard to attain. Moments of solitude and redemption, completion and renewal, function and beauty. I smile because I know I have more than the days leading up to 12/21/12 to complete these. I smile knowing that I will do these and live a life where the needle is on FULL. I smile because it’s a quick way to get to that last step above this paragraph. I smile thinking about you reading this and wondering what your “lived list” would be.
Finally, I smile because.