The other day I was talking to a friend about blogging on here and how much fun I have writing and reading blogs on here. He asked me what it was called and I told him “Introspections During Quiet Time” which he promptly followed up by saying “what the hell does that mean?”
Here is where it comes from:
I have never been a napper. Ever. As a child, I went to a babysitter where other children were being cared for as well and whenever it was “nap time” she put everyone in the “nap room”….except me. I would get bored while everyone was asleep and then I would get restless and then I would get annoyed until I finally started waking everyone up so we could play. This did not go over well because normal children enjoy nap time, so they would all be grumpy or cry as I would try to get them to play games. So, the babysitter devised a plan. She would have the kids lay down in their room while I would have to lay in the hallway where she could see me from the couch. I remember I would be about to get up and she would tell me to lay down and take a nap. Then i would say I have to get a drink of water or go potty but I would really play in the toilet water or take off my shoes and slide on the linoleum in my socks. She caught on quickly.
So, I would lay there. At first, I just cursed her in my head with all the bad thoughts a five-year-old could imagine: Stupid-head, dumb-dumb, etc. she was all of those. Then, after about a week, I started really imagining things. It is during these little half-hour spurts of quiet that I really thought. I remember that I came to the realization that I wanted to be a Velociraptor when I grew up. Then it was a paleontologist and then an astronomer. I would let my mind wander in any direction it wanted to. It was funny, (Spoiler Alert) this was the first time I reasoned my way to believing there was no Santa Claus. I remember I would go to my mom and say “Listen, you have to tell me if there is no Santa Claus because I don’t want to be Forty and wondering if Santa is going to bring my kids’ presents this year”.
This continued into kindergarten where I would lay on the city street mapped rug and just think as everyone else slumbered. I thought about if aliens existed and wondered if they were going to abduct me. I imagined they had suction cup fingers and antennae. It was so interesting to me that there was all kinds of things happening behind my forehead. I thought it was a super power! I really did. It translates even into today where sometimes I just have to zone out for a moment and take a little quiet time for myself.
So, that’s why it is called Introspection During Quiet Time. It’s all about being honest and frank. Mostly funny and sometimes serious but always true. True to the writing and true to myself. I let my mind go where it wants and hang on for the ride, I hope it makes you do the same. It’s much more exciting this way!
I just wanted to express my gratitude to all of you who have commented and liked my previous post. It was funny, I usually blog twice a week and yesterday was “blog day”, which just so happened to be the worst day since my “college woes” incident. It was a dominoes effect of bad. You know those days where a whole bunch of little things build up to be one big, bad thing? Yeah it was like that. Then, i sit down and check my email and it had over two hundred emails, almost all from wordpress. I was like, “am I in trouble?” Then I checked it and saw that I had been FP’d.
Okay, so I was ignorant to this slang of FP’d meaning freshly pressed and I was thinking “is this a derogatory slang?” I had to look it up and actually find out what it meant haha. Did I really just admit that?
Anyway, I said brief, right?
My point is that I was having a bad day and I went through all of those comment of individuals that shared their little wins and stories and some that even said it turned their day around reading it. Little did they know that I was having a bad day and reading all of the extremely nice things everyone said and all of the stories and wins really turned my day around. It was the most paramount moment since I started writing a few years ago.
You guys have no idea how thankful I am for your kind words and amazing stories. I sincerely appreciate it from the bottom of my awkward heart!
I truly enjoy the small things in life. The other day one of these things (I call them “little wins”) happened and it got me to thinking about the little wins that we all get and about what mine are specifically. So, these are just the little things that somehow can turn a bad day around on a dime:
- I can’t stress how excited I get when I grab a soda from one of the vending machines or coolers at a supermarket and I pop it open, only to find it is partially frozen! It’s like having built in ice cubes. I also love when a couple of pieces of ice come out when you are taking a drink and you have to crunch the ice as loud as possible. Why? because. That’s why!
- I enjoy playing basketball and making shots from half court is sweet but when I am in another room and throw a piece of garbage into the garbage can that is in another room than the one I am in, I literally feel like Zeus come down from Olympus. It’s like I cured and incurable disease. The fact that I threw a piece of trash from one room to the other and successfully put it in the waste disposal bin is one of the top moments of my life. Now, let’s not think about what that says about my life, but it is a little win for me all the same.
- I go to the park and throw the Frisbee around with my room mate quite often and I love taking my shoes and socks of in the grass. I feel like a kid but I love the feeling of the grass under my feet. I run and jump for the hovering Frisbee as if it were going a hundred miles an hour just so that i have to run after it. The earth under my feet, running around on the cool grass as the sunsets, it’s a feeling of being content. That’s what these little wins are I think. The feeling of, even for a moment, being completely content.
- That feeling when you start your car and you hear a favorite song of yours JUST beginning. It was perfect timing and you say one of two things: Either a loud “OHHH!” and turn it up or “YES!!” and turn it up but either way you smile and crank your favorite tune.
- One of my favorite things is what I call “delayed laughter”. It’s when you hear something funny but it doesn’t register for maybe a minute and then you burst out laughing uncontrollably.
- Following up the last little win, I love when I make people laugh embarrassingly loud. Like, so loud they start to have that emphysema type cough afterwards and usually let out a long sigh afterwards. Definite little win.
- This one’s kind of lame but I love when you are dating someone and you are having a conversation with them and somehow you say something off hand, something that never really registered to you but makes them feel happy. They stop in their tracks and you feel confused but when you look into their eyes you see the affection they feel for you right then. I always think to myself “I don’t know what I said but damn I’m good”. I just enjoy that look in their eyes, and maybe a small smile, it’s like they are thinking, “He said the perfect thing”. I hope you know what I mean, or have experienced this. It’s my number one.
- One of my least favorite things is slipping. I hate slipping. I mean, who like it but not only does it freak me out it pisses me off. If i fall I usually give the finger to the ground. It deserved it. However, i love when you are slipping and sliding on ice yet somehow you recover and just walk it off.
- This one happened to me today. I was lifting weights and thinking I was a badass at the gym when I turned around and was walking to get a drink. I looked to my right for a second and then smacked my head on a pull-down bar so hard it knocked off my headphones. I looked around and saw to my happiness that no one saw. You may be thinking, someone saw but just didn’t say anything. Trust me, beloved blogger, if they had seen, they would have been rolling.
- Finally, I love that awkward moment between you and the person you are dating right before your first kiss. You step closer, the talking dies out. You have peripheral chat about having fun that night but you are both thinking the same thing “Kissmekissmekissmekissme”. Then, when you finally lean in and the other person validates it by compensating in that they lean in as well and you have that first kiss. I can’t help but laugh everytime. The tension alleviated by the kiss makes me laugh for some reason. Women must think I am a douche but I laugh…maybe giggle is a better word. I’m not immature, it’s just that I have a problem when I get tense I tend to laugh. Not the best thing to do at a job interview but I figure after an exciting, awkward moment like that, who cares.
Well, I hope you enjoyed my “little wins” and I hope you can add amendments of your favorite “little wins”
I am actually afraid to say how long I messed with this stupid thing.
Hello again all!
Well, I have been absent for quite some time. No, I haven’t given up on this blog, if some of you were wondering. No, the reason I was gone is as follows (As I write this I am not sure how squeamish you are but if you dislike needles, tread carefully…):
College. A time of higher learning and to find out what life has in store. A time when we meet those that will affect the rest of our lives. We strive to achieve blah, blah, blah. NOW, enough with that bs, we all know what it’s about. Trying to get a degree to “better ourselves” so we can live a decent life. I am one of many who really has gone broke during this summer! I am so excited about being back in school just for the refund that I am almost giddy. I am broke, I mean, i think it is kinda funny but sad a bit as well. I am actually laughing as I write this. I remember the other day I was eating Top Ramen and thinking, “How many days in a row is this now?”
I try to eat healthy but it’s hard on like a 25 dollar a week budget for groceries. So, this leads into the next situation. Why can’t I get a job? Well, i tried. A lot. I worked at a newspaper then when I came to college I was able to focus solely on school because I didn’t need a job. Well, that has bitten me in the butt harder than a bear defending its territory. I am qualified for career jobs but (completely true) am unable to get a job as a tray runner. If you don’t know what that means it is the job where at the hospital you are responsible for taking trays of food to people. The hardest part is not getting burned. Needless to say I found myself in a bit of a spot.
(Now the fun stuff)
A friend told me an easy and quick way to make 50 bucks was to sell plasma. It’s used for vaccines and medications and such and I figured “Why the hell not? I mean it’s just coursing through me anyway”. I wish I could say there more altruistic things in my motives but I was thinking how much gas and food I could get with it!
I get there and well, I guess I never really thought about the clientele that went there but I was thinking it would be normal people. FALSE. While there for the complete 4 hours prior to actually having the massive gauge needle inserted into my body, I met people who were drunk, angry, homeless sometimes but all having an exhibiting erratic behavior. I am a big guy; I feel as if I can handle myself yet I hid in the corner of the waiting room for hours. I ate a protein bar and drank a huge liter of water because I they kept saying it is easier if you have hydrated and eaten well prior to. Then I finally got called back for my physical. Mainly they were doing a medical history and body check for needle marks. I will admit I talked up the nurse who was there. She was older and very funny and smart. The only redeemable part of this story….well second redeemable.
So! I FINALLY get in there and I lay down on the table. I knew it was going to be a piece of cake because X-men: First Class was on, a favorite of mine. Then I see a nurse walking up to me. She is closely followed by a man with a clipboard who is watching her every move as she prepares to stick me. I immediately have flashes of “oh god, run now!” but I thought, “no,no, we need the fifty bucks.”
She has trouble finding the vein, although the nice nurse did not. She seems new, asking some questions about the machine. She gets everything set up for me and finally shoves the large needle into my left arm that was about the circumference of a q-tip. It burns like fire and blood shoots up the tubing and into the machine. Ah yes, the infernal machine.
This is how it works: It drains your blood and spins all of the plasma from the amount taken and then it gives you back the red blood cells minus the plasma. So you are not too dehydrated, they give you saline solution but usually not as much as was taken out of your body. OK, BACK TO THE STORY.
I’m in the chair, blood pouring out of me. Then I feel an extreme burning sensation as the machine kicks back, pushing my blood back into me. At first it is annoying then unbearable and I grimace. The nurse walks over and asks how I am. i politely say that my f***ing arm is on fire and she feels for the needle and immediately shuts the machine off. She feels the spot on my bicep that has gotten huge. Another nurse comes to check and says, “Oh yeah, hematoma for sure. ” I had this once after a car accident. It’s basically a deep tissue bruise where blood is trapped in the tissue. I know immediately she damaged my vein. I think, man, I need to get outta here, and start to get up when she tells me to lay back down. She sticks me in my other arm, this time it is literally in the muscle and it burns worse than the other one. A large bump begins to rise on my arm and I wince.
“Yep, you’re done,” she says to me and I start to get up.
I am extremely woozy and feel kind of drunk. She tells me that it took out about 450 some units of blood or half of what was to be taken and also nothing was put in. I was drained of a massive amount of blood, Vampire style.
She tells me that my veins may be damaged and how it was my body rejecting it and I knew it was bogus. I am a semi-smart person. I get that you are new and had no idea what you were doing. Plus, I heard the guy say to a nurse that he was worried about MY nurse! Ah!
After she tells me about my sh***y veins I put my sunglasses on and yell, “This is an exit only body!”
I get my ticket and take my number up to the machine which I need help at figuring out for two reasons:
1. I had ice packs held on by ace bandages on the bends of my arms making movement a bit hard.
2. I felt drunk from blood loss (blood drunk?)
The nice man who had watched the whole thing go down and new I had a bad nurse came and helped me get my fifty bucks and apologized for what happened to me.
“Hey,” he said,” at least you get paid fifty bucks.” Then he handed me a gatorade.
I struggled to open it and took a massive gulp. I looked at the money and then at the Gatorade and said, “Nope, I don’t do it for the money. i do it for the free gatorade and ice packs. Excuse me, this is warm.” and I put the gatorade in the crook of my arm where the ice pack was to cool it off.
I stumbled out, their howling laughter following me and I thought, this was worth it. Get gas, get food, GOOD FOOD! Then I spent it on alcohol that weekend.
So, I have been recovering from that little injury. Just now able to to fully extend my arms. Hope you enjoyed my painful story!
P.S.-Here is a little visual aide. Just took this. It looks way better now. Imagine how it used to look: